The Secret Lives of the Elderly and Their Sexual Conquest

Have you ever wondered what grandma and grandpa do in between visits?. Do they play cards, knit sweaters, or write out lots of twelve dollar checks for birthday gifts? Dux News did some digging and found the dirty erotic truth. Some call it dropping anchor, making the beast with two backs, riding the skin bus to tuna town. These are just a few puns used to describe the sexual truth about what goes on while you are away. That’s right; your grandparents are slapping skins all over that dusty old plastic covered couch you plop down on when you visit. Knowing now that your grandparents get hornier than a drunken prom date how will you ever again look at them the same way? That smell of musk and mothballs isn’t just coming from the closet.


Most consider elderly to be anyone 65 years old and older. A recent poll showed that 60% of women over the age of 65 claims that sex is better than it was in their 40’s.  In a world of Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra it’s no surprise that senior men are up to the challenge. The rise in sexual activity in this community has created a public health concern for the elderly. More than 30% of the older population now test positive for STD’s. Also more than half of that population are needing full hip replacement surgery from all their recent sexual activity. Everyone has to face facts. Our sweet little grandparents are having sex and lots of it! Next time you hear that faint moan while grandma and grandpa are just “taking a nap.” Remember napping isn’t all that grandma and grandpa are up to.


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